Judy Mae by Boomer Castleman (Mums, 1975)

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The Lewis & Clarke Expedition were a duo in the late 60s that minor success on the charts. But everyone knew that for this duo that sum was far less greater than its parts. So the pair broke up and the Earth shook for 5 years until they both had pop success in 1975. And while Micheal Murphey sang a song about a dead girlfriend, a runaway horse and a loud ass owl, Boomer Castleman decided to keep it simple and write a song about banging his stepmom. Yes. He did. It peaked, I mean, climaxed, I mean found its highest position at #33 in the Summer of 1975, about the same time Sammy Johns was driving his Chevy rape van from town to town. What the hell were you adults doing? You need to pay some of my doctors bills.

I cannot think of a creepier song to hit the Top 40. I don’t know how Casey Kasem didn’t just start vomiting when he had to back announce it on his weekly show. Basically the plot is this: A kid’s mom dies and his dad immediately marries again to someone half his age. I’m figuring the dad was a salesman or Jehovah’s witness, cause he travels a lot which makes Judy Mae lonely (translated: horny) She tells her stepson this and prods him to get it on with her. Now as the kid tells the story, he is remembering his first time and admits this to her.

Let me stop for a second. A dude’s stepmom comes up to him and says I want you to bang me and his response is ‘gee, I’m not sure how because I haven’t before.’ I understand there’s a lot of websites now dedicated to this one video premise, but that does not make it right or not slimy.

Anyway they bang and they hear a noise outside, which after his dad dies in an accident 2 days later gets ol Boomer thinking, in retrospect, mind you. Hmmmmm, maybe dad saw me bang his wife, my mom. I wonder if he was mad. Never mind that his reaction would be to kill himself. Was his dad Willy Loman? All of this is sung and written without shame, disgrace or remorse. In fact the chorus is the loudest most energetic part of the song.

Judy Mae, she sure had a way of looking out for me
Yeah her eyes would sparkle and shine every time papa got ready to leave

So right there he’s admitting that it wasn’t one foolish moment. They were bangin’ every time papa hit the road to sell vacuums. Now remember, Boomer is also leaving a lot to the imagination. Your filthy mind is filling in the pictures. Are you thinking Judy Mae looked like Misty Rowe from Hee Haw? She could have well looked like Lulu Roman. Maybe that’s what Boomer was thinking. Maybe the wind came from Lulu. I have no problem with sexy songs. But this one is just skeeeevy, like a bad runaway/prison/retarded uncle/carpeted van movie of the week happening in real life.

Anyway this song caused quite a stir back in the day Listen to this station in TN play the song and take caller feedback on Boomer’s aural Hustler forum letter. You’ll definitely need a shower….

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