Lonely Boy By Andrew Gold (Asylum, 1977)

A very nice lite piece of California baked pop courtesy of Andrew Gold [although the album version has them stretching and tearin it up a lot harder] But a closer listen to the lyrics and they reveal an indisputable truth: Andrew is a whiny little bitch.

Here is parents go out of the way to provide clothes and an education, which he acknowledges, hoping it teaches him some street smarts and life lessons (which it doesn’t), but still he’s a lonely boy. Why? Do his parents keep in a trunk in the basement like The Gimp from Pulp Fiction? Does he look like the kid from Mask? Oh no its much worse. His parents “brought him a sister”. Oh the horrors!

How dare they have a second child! They made a pact with Andrew that he was to be their only son, which he took to mean that he was the “only one”. Granted he was 2 when he made this realization. He was still crappin in his pants but he figured out hierarchy and genealogy. His parents tell him she’s a baby. We have to take a little extra care of her, you know, cause SHE’S A BABY, Andrew! Nothing in this song tells you that they ignore him for the next 16 years. But by the time he turns 18, he’s had enough of this parents sharing their love with both kids bullshit and leaves home. God forbid his parents were Catholic and he have to split that love 6 more times.

Then as he rubs his handlebar mustache and laughs a Snidely Whiplash cackle, he tells of how God got back her sister. He gave her a son. And now she….wait, what’s the problem? Oh now she has a son to lie to, I guess, if she has more kids. I’m so confused by this point about what Andrew is trying to prove. Is this really the guy that wrote, Thank You for Being A Friend? I guess after a family intervention and court appointed therapy he had to. Coincidentally he recorded for Asylum Records.

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