Last Song by Edward Bear (Capitol, 1973)

Most people join a band and become musicians to become appreciated, validated, have attention & praise showered on them. But really it’s just to get chicks, sorry to be sexist. Being up on stage serenading the audience, laying out that kick ass guitar solo or just struttin & smirking makes one seem way cooler than they are. So why the band, Edward Bear, decided to handicap themselves by naming their band after the real name of Winnie-The-Pooh and write & record the 1973 mope-fest is beyond me? These guys make the Waltons seem edgy. Why not just call yourself Holly Hobbie and Wussy Gang and be done with it? Well here’s my theory and let me digress.

The real Pooh Bear that was purchased for the son of Winnie-The-Pooh author, A.A. Milne’s was name Winnie after a bear young Christopher liked at the London Zoo. That bear was brough to London via Winnipeg, Canada, hence it was named Winnie. But even if the band was being clever or jingoistic, it’s till a stupid name. In fact I hate all bands who name themselves after people. In any case Sweet Sweet Connie ain’t knocking on your door.

It’s just as well. This guy does not know how to let go. He goes to sleep with lights on, like a Canadian Motel 6 (bet the neighbors love him) hoping his girlfriend comes back. You see if the light’s off, she’ll think he doesn’t want to be disturbed, like most people at 4 am. But he wants to let her know she come back at any time 24/7. In fact he does this for 2 years and thinks, ‘Gee, I better come up with an ultimatum’. And he does and wow it’s a doozy. He writes the last song that he’ll ever write for her. Oh snap. Take that bitch. You better recognize!

In fact he’s gonna turn off the light. So if she goes looking for him say at 2:43am and the house is dark, like most people’s houses at that time….too bad, so sad.

So there you go, he’s laid it on the line. After 2 years of waiting, no more songs, woman. And as you would expect…crickets. So what does he do…write another song. But hey he’s serious this time, it’s the last one. Really. It. Is.

This song reminds me of being in Sears in the boys department as a kid. Maybe I heard this over the speakers once. Maybe its the Winnie-The-Pooh reference. Who knows?