Falling by LeBlanc & Carr (Big Tree, 1978)

Look up soft rock in the dictionary at there’s a picture of the 45 sleeve for Falling by LeBlanc & Carr. Actually I take that back. I think this might be the definition for lethargy. This is song is the aural equivalent of a marshmallow in a pile of feathers. LeBlanc & Carr make Bread come off like Black Sabbath. Listening to this song is like having a tranquil dart hit you in the neck. I feel for anyone who conceived a child while listening to this. I’m sure your pregnancy lasted an extra month longer.

How did this song make the Top 15 in 1978? Who bought this? Who requested this? What program directors decided that this song needed to be on their format so that their listeners would go to sleep? Were there that many Caucasian couples that thought this was the song to set the ‘right’ mood to? How many of them konked out ten seconds in and woke up several hours later to the skip on their record player?

It’s not that this song is technically bad. It’s just that it goes far beyond mellow into an overdose of Valium. Imagine if the Russians broke into NORAD and played this song over the loudspeakers. I’d be eating borscht while I wrote this, waiting on a long line for toilet paper wearing a $300 pair of Levis. From the opening wah-wah guitar notes, teasing strings and heavily reverbed Fender Rhodes, you better have your pajamas on cause you’re going down. No need for NyQuil – LeBlanc & Carr have the ‘so you can rest’ medicine. You might as well be sleeping in a cave, cause you’re not coming out until Spring.

And the lyrics don’t help. This guy talks about remembering a girl through the 4 seasons and he’s so chill, it takes him a whole year to fall in love. Love at first season’s cycle.

I think about winter when I was with her
and the snow was falling down
Warmed by the fire I love being by her
When there’s no one else around

First of all rhyming winter with with her is lame. Second, these words as well as how you sing them, make you sound like a crazy person. Did you cook this chic in the fire and eat her?

I think about summer my head was swimming
You wrote my name in the sand
We walked together hoping forever
Please don’t let go of my hand

Uh Oh, victim #2. Why was your head swimming? Are you a schizo? Maybe he doesn’t realize that he gets a rush from doing this. We have a mass murderer on our hands now. But she was smart and left police a clue in the sand before he ate her. All it said was LeBlanc and zzzzzz.

The fall and the springtime were like in between time
You’re here and then you’re gone away

Victims #3 and possibly #4. And of course in between time is code for snacking.

Woah, I just wanted to stay
Won’t you please, please stay
Cause I’m falling, woah, I’m falling
I’m falling in love with you

This might be the part wearing he’s wearing her skin as a coat. I’m not sure. But there’s a strong smell of Chianti and fava beans, that’s for sure.

There’s so much more I want to write about this song. But I think I’ll just cuddle up on the sofa, play my 45, and see how long I make it……