Torn Between Two Lovers by Mary MacGregor (Ariola, 1977)

As the 1970s progressed, feminism became less of a movement and more integrated into our society. So much so that a song about a woman having multiple lovers didn’t seem as a radical as would have been 5 years before. Especially considering that the soft focus & ferns arrangement of this sleepy ballad would have been at home floating from the speakers as you were having a root canal. So even women can cheat – I guess that was progress in 1977. It’s even funnier when you consider that the song was co-written by Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul & Mary) and he wanted a guy to sing it about 2 chics.

But what could have been an interesting subject and a spicy little pop song is nothing more than a yawner. Mary makes infidelity seems routine and boring. “Hi honey. I’m screwing another dude. How about Hamburger Helper for dinner?”

What might seem as equalling the playing field is really just another example of the self-absorption that was so popular in Me decade. People searching to find themselves before nature and venereal diseases found them. In fact this whole song rings phony, especially when you listen to Mary sing some of these lyrics that were obviously written for a guy. The fact that she makes a point of saying, “I love You” and holds her husband close and gently whispers “I’m cheating on you”. How she tells him “You were the first real love I ever had”. Like that would soften the blow of getting cuckolded. You can pretty much hear the guy filling his Colt 45 with bullets, as he’s about to graphically show her what “torn between two lovers” really means.

Best non-intentional line: “There’s just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill”. That’s what she said!