How Do You Do? by Mouth and MacNeal (Philips, 1972)

While we’re on subject of songs that made me go crazy as a kid, this song makes me go crazy as an adult too. I would stomp around the house or the backyard, pretending to smash anything that got in my way when this 45 was playing.

In the early 70s, Dutch pop was a tasty export on the charts. With hit singles by The Tee Set, George Baker & Golden Earring, the time was right for something dumb and catchy. This Netherlands duo – nice band name, rolls right off the tongue – hit the Top 10 in the summer of 1972 with this troglodytic anthem, but I have no idea why. This song is such a trainwreck, and I guess people like to stare at trainwrecks even if it’s with their ears. By the way Mouth has often been referred to as the Dutch Joe Cocker.

Now M&M did not write this, they just tried to sing it and make it comprehensible. If their English was limited they did a good job. Here is the verse sung by M1, which is virtually repeated by M2:

Once I said I wanted you, I don’t remember why
I often wonder if it’s true that you could make me cry
I only know it’s long ago You said I love you too
But I got one solution left: We’re gonna start anew

Is this a love song? Breakup song? Get back together song? All I know is that it seems to be written by an eight-year old. The sentiment here is, “uh I think I want you, but I’m not sure. I can’t remember if you make me cry or if I want you. Maybe I said I love you. Again a little fuzzy with the memories. I mean it’s been 3 days since our rendezvous in the bathroom of a Burger King. All I know is this: you said you love me, so thanks for that and we’re gonna restart this relationship, even though I don’t remember it in the first place.”

So after this romantic retelling of an affair that just won’t die, she replies with, “How do you do? I thought, why not, na-na, na-na.“, which I assume is Dutch code for ‘let’s share a space brownie and get busy near a dike”. I guess that now explains the stomp-like chorus.

And when that banging is done, the lady replies with the same ‘who are you, I don’t remember?’ stuff. How much chronic are they smoking over there that they can’t remember who they were just with or met and have to reintroduce themselves to each other over & over?

Take a look at this video. It may explain this instant amnesia.